Out of SIGHT...
...Out of Mind, right?
Well, what if we coined a new phrase:
Out of Sight, ON the Mind.
We generally tend to think that when someone steps away from the public eye, they are "checked out." For yogis, that is quite the opposite. The Rishis of the past taught us that ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ, ๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฎ, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฆ๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ are the greatest gateways to inner harmony & balance and requires ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ & ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ. Sadhana represents a disciplined #dailyspiritualpractice and uses tools like asana (simple and complex shapes), pranayama (breath regulation), meditation (mental decluttering), mantra (vocal reprogramming), dharana & dhyana (focused & easeful concentration) on a daily basis.
I recently took a ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ต๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ด from social media, and I can feel myself beginning to feel human again. Stepping away from what our "๐ป๐ฒ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ฟ๐บ๐" as a collective now entails has been a #สแดสษชสแดส in itself. During that time, I stepped into 43 and can honestly share that my shifts* have almost brought me full circle towards the ending of a definite Karmic Cycle. You know when you "just know" something new is around the corner or have a neutral disposition to whatever direction life takes you, because YOU, yourself, in your human form has literally tried EVERYTHING you possible could have on the Earthly plane to create a new life path in action?
Pardon the absurdly long run-on, but emphasis and sarcasm were needed.
And.....
you're realizing it's SO not about "doing" anything you thought you ever needed to do? And.... then* you finally accept, not realize, but ACCEPT, that your *sole* responsibility as a contributor to the planet is to maintain the HIGHEST possible VIBRATION of your soul's energy field, so you can ATTRACT what you easily need to share your gifts?
That the whole concept of "working hard for what you need" is actually a derailment of energetic attraction, because it creates fear and lack. It perpetuates fear, because if you lack using ALL of your time to "work hard," there is inherent fear that you won't get what you need.
So once again, while the saying goes, "Out of sight, out of mind," I now find myself coining,
"๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต, *๐๐* ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ."
Hmmm...I haven't seen or heard from so-and-so for a minute.
I wonder what they're working on?
I wonder if home projects, family time, vacation, mental health, nature therapy is going on?
I wonder if they are working through any financial and/or personal grief?
I wonder if they are prioritizing their happiness?
I sure hope so!
There's a common misconception, that if we aren't in constant "proof of productivity," not even in ACTUAL #productivity, but "proof" that we are actually* somewhat doing whatever we are sharing/posting/identifying/ representing ourselves as publicly, then we aren't who we say we are. If we don't give constant "Updates" there is potential to even get cancelled before your start!
This is absolutely representative of neurosis, and when these thought patterns get on mental race-car loop, and we inadvertently "Get Stuck," we need ways to come back hOMe. That's precisely why I took several months away from posting, communicating, sharing, and even doing what I usually "do" with regards to work.
I simply STOPPED.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing on repeat and expecting a different outcome. That's precisely what it's felt like, for me, for the past 3 years with social media. While I once resisted what social media generally reflects, I wholeheartedly shifted my vibration to one of acceptance, love, and appreciation.
In order to create change, one must first FEEL* and embody the energy of what one wishes to attract.
But....
even though I read and followed all the tips, used the hashtags, posted daily, shared stories, reels, etc. and then did the opposite when that time came back around, it felt as if I was in a constant state of "catch up." #Catchup to learn what was trending, what new in-app tool or feature was the latest, which filter was the absolutely newest one, which day/time (EST, MST, CST, PST) a new live was popping. It was exhausting, anxiety ridden, and mentally debilitating.
I kept feeling badly about myself, like I couldn't "get it right."
My confidence about how to effectively represent myself as an Artist & Educator began to diminish.
My belief in myself as a wise and nurturing teacher, began to fade.
All because the number of "followers" on my account were not reflecting what
being in my energy field shares from a LIVE class with me.
It became harder and harder to BELIEVE that all the accolades, accomplishments, and celebrations within my life, the cornerstones of what my #Dharma (purpose) is called to share with the collective, were not able to be shared as rapidly as my juniors, simply due to technological disadvantages. While my generation was being taught to acquire a myriad of talents and skillsets with the experience and knowledge to back them all up, technology replaced the musician of my era (par example), who could play several live instruments with a digital musician who could do the same thing with the push of a button in a fraction of the time at a higher quality resolution.
It feels like we fought* so long and hard to get here*
- to the place where you're supposed to get a bit of a breather in life
- a break from hustle culture of work
- a break from overlapping mortgage and tuition costs/loans
- a break from not being able to afford what you want because of what you need
It felt like somehow everything I have been striving for, the hole I've been trying to dig myself out of for the past 4 years, the beating of karmic lessons I took for the past 10 years, the work hustle of the past 2 decades, making sound decisions, sacrificing, saving, constantly doing without.....was all for NAUGHT?
It felt like the greatest let down of all was seeing those with less experience and little knowledge, those with an ability to copy & paste, those who were using app technology on a daily basis, had an upper hand on marketing culture and the new norms of society. Suddenly, I began to feel 60 as a 40 something year old. I began to feel like I was at the end of my career, before even starting. I began to feel a lack of Joy.
Now the one thing, that my mom always says, is that she wants her children to be #happy. As long as the choices we are making are making us happy and not harming us in any way, my mom sincerely supports us. Nothing I was doing - creating, posting, filming, working out, dancing, practicing, painting, coloring, meditating, cooking,
NOTHING was bringing me Joy.
And it was because....what I LOVE MOST....sharing my wisdom and artistry was not being able to reach a larger collective.
I had sucked it up....
I had embraced the learning curve with technology.
I was creating and posting and sharing on social media.
I did the advertisements.
I even had public recognition from one of the biggest stars in Hollywood.
And guess what?
NOTHING Happened....except the derailment of my mental health and self confidence.
Even the studio where I teach did very little to support and share my posts and advertise my classes on social media. It became extremely difficult to remain positive, uplifted, and dedicated to consistently practicing this outward action, just to SHARE what I am called to do naturally?
Collaborations, reaching out to influencers, 3rd party promotion, in-app boosts, all did very little to nothing in regards to business for me. I gained a follower or a few, yes, but the engagement of said followers is what was apparently most important.
There was not much of that.... I was noticing my #mentalhealth was doing a big nose dive, and all the while, a wrist and shoulder issue would continue to perpetuate. Shoulders represent our ability to "bear weight" for an extended period of time. When there is a shift in "workflow," the shoulders can often begin to experience nerve conditions in a sympathetic response. The body urges a reduction in the stressor, be it physical or mental, and when we don't listen, the body will eventually, INSIST.
My body did just that.
No I am NO stranger to #energeticfatigue.
I was hospitalized and almost died, 2 months after my 30th birthday while being at the peak of my physical prime. Doctors diagnosed me with an Autoimmune disease, the term given to a collection of ailments for which one has no knowledge of its origins and/or cures.
This marked my guided embarkation of Ayurveda and living a holistic lifestyle steeped in the Science of Yoga.
Why would I not* listen Now, some 13 years later?
Clearly, the universe is guiding me to STOP.
What I am doing isn't working, is draining me, and harming my Soul.
Losing one's Self-Confidence is a sign of derailment and misalignment.
Spirit is pure Love, pure Light, pure Omniscience with nothing to prove.
So how did I find my Zen, again?
For me, the ROOT chakra, the foundation of stability, safety, family & home, financial security was being challenged. If I can't share what I LOVE, how can I book work or be considered for collaborations and teaching opportunities?
How can I fulfill my Dharma?
Clearly there was a LOT of LOVE, which needed to be given amidst this simultaneous reality:
I'm willingly ceasing doing what I have been doing (aka posting) to potentially keep showing and sharing my knowledgeable and expertise?
Isn't social media the new "resume" though?
ENTER ANXIETY & INCESSANT OVERTHINKING!
Luckily.... the beauty of being a Spiritual Yogini is remembering, that what is meant for you doesn't miss you,
that everything happens in alignment for our highest good
everything is through Divine Orchestration
vibration is the gateway to transformation
shift your thoughts to shift your reality
I was being gifted a divine opportunity to SIMPLY
sit back from posting
rest from the social media
heal from the shoulder injury
focus on home projects and other aspects of #theROOTchakra.
You see, while work, home, stability, finances, safety and security are all part of the ROOT chakra, it doesn't mean all aspects of the Root are healed and in vibrational resonance with each other.
Which aspect of my Root needed my attention most?
My HOME.
I've lived in this apartment for 3 consecutive years. It's the first time, since being at undergraduate that I have lived in the same space, the same all inclusive micro-loft archetype of what my heart once desired coming into perpetual fruition, the building blocks of visions you see in your mind's eye. Therein lies the Root.
It's the last time I created a home for myself and *only* me.
I didn't have to cater for a partner, a child, a parent, a roommate....it was all mine!
The universe was giving me a cosmic Re-DO!
What is it that needed #REDOING at this age?
attachment to solo living
transition from university into the world at large
knowns to unknowns
comfort to discomfort
space to confinement
nature to city
There was only one issue; I still had not fully unpacked. I still had boxes in storage, closets which need reorganizing, grounded choices to be made, and a lease renewal to consider.
Had I not rectified this and since, unpacked fully, allowing myself to receive and give myself some of the basics I desperately needed to feel at home with myself: a desk, a bureau, and a bookshelf?
Things that were actually quite necessary to housing what would be unpacked, but dared to question, if I unpacked, that would be a hassle in case I needed to move again? FEAR of moving again had paralyzed me in my ability to build and furnish a hOMe for myself. It left a memory of that 22 year old needing to move back hOMe to her mother's, because she had no safety net from always following her heart not head.
Was this a redo?
Fear believed: following one's passion means an instability in providing a steady foundation for oneself.
Love believed: following what makes one HAPPY and aligned with their individual cosmic job description, aka one's passion, one's purpose/dharma, soul's intention, raises the soul's vibration and alignment .
When we love and appreciate what we already have, we amplify a vibration of Gratitude, which leads to Multitude, and thus are more easily magnetized to orchestrate between the realms of spirit and matter.
FEAR was the culprit of my paralysis and plateau in social media.
Since algorithms are nothing shy of data science, if I could harness the energy of my Root to reflect a high vibrational of feeling* that my posts would RESONATE, then it didn't matter the number of views. I was rigging my own algorithm. I was aligning with the #consciousnessofenergy to set all gears in motion to effortlessly work in my favor. All I had to do was focus of vibration of feeling happy. If I could feel* my way into my vibration of happiness, I could share it with more people and help others to do the very same thing, if they too feel stuck!
OOOHHHHH.....
Well then, what else brings me happiness in relation to the root? MY HOME!
Fast forward to designs, I started looking at all kinds of furniture.
My creative energy was SOARING! Suddenly, my enthusiasm was back! I was excited to get shiny things, new furniture that I wanted. I got to choose the color, the shape, the height. I got to splurge on the design. I got to make the final say.
There were NO limits and NO compromises!
I was NOW finally ready* to unpack.
The weeks of furniture building, ordering in, loud music, and dance parties were ABSOLUTELY mood boosting. I had nothing to say and no desire to share with anyone on social media. I stopped checking in on others. I gave my own energy to me. I watched shows. I ordered movies on demand. I drank wine and ate cake. I LIVED, as unapologetically as, I once did in my 20s..... and. IT. FELT. GREAT!
I colored.
I cooked.
I got myself a vintage record player and a few choice 45's.
My SOUL was LIVING!!!
What was holding me back all this time?
Money?
Always having to save and scrimp for those rainy days?
Well, this was one of those rainy seasons....for quite some time now, and honey, all I can tell you, is giving ME all the things that I associate with home stability is exactly what I needed and did. I bought and enjoyed building ALL of the furniture I not only needed, but also really WANTED! I ordered in without budgeting. I leaned into trusting, and I invested my hard earned *energy* into the things things which made me feel GREAT! I spent what I had been "saving" on celebrate the *Wins* I've been through not just the past 43 years, but RE-DOING it with maturity and grace.
It felt GREAT to organize!
It felt great to give my Art books their dedicated bookshelf.
It felt great to give my Yoga Props their own space and my conditioning equipment another.
It felt JOYFUL and I felt absolute JOY, as inner #MarieKondo came alive.
I was in my element, as a #Cancerian Nurturer, and I was doing myself and the collective a divine blessing by celebrating and NURTURING ME. I chose to give myself the home I have always wanted in my own space in New York City. I wasn't done with this apartment. Afterall, you don't give up the apartments you LOVE in New York. You grow into them until** you've outgrown them, and I hadn't yet grown into this space. You'll know when it's time, and this was a time to UNPACK not PACK!
As a child, music filled my home!
And while my daily rituals include signature meditations on specific pieces of music for energetic harmony, (checkout any of my 185+ playlists on my Spotify,) it somehow finally felt complete with the addition of my vitrola and a new guiro.
A painter needs an easel and access to paints at all times, a musician needs instruments, a healer needs herbs & crystals, a wellness enthusiast needs equipment, a Yogini needs dedicated space, a dancer needs mirrors.
My bathroom enjoyed an uplift with shelving and a new curtain.
My kitchen got some magnetic shelving.
My computer got a desk.
My books got shelves.
My equipment got a bureau.
My bed received a lift.
This time I was unpacking with the intention of staying as LONG as I want.
I was staying...actually staying.
I was giving this life a fair chance.
I was infusing a new LOVE and appreciation and actively grounding into this space.
I accepted that THIS* was the once missing ingredient, I needed to add to the recipe of the ebb & flow in my life's journey.
You see, #stagnation - plateaus - walls all represent needing to RE-DO or revisit a piece of a puzzle in one of our Chakras. Basically, it's like a cosmic solution finder and the pieces to the puzzles are hidden in the subtle esoteric language of signs, symbology, sacred geometry, sound frequency & light waves. The more we practice the exercises of Yoga Science and the #ArtistryofConsciousness, rest, being, receiving, the quicker our intuition becomes aware of what we need to align.
Consciousness speaks to us through sound and light waves, which can be fine tuned by elevating one's personal frequency and inner vibration. I needed to hear SOUND come through the apparatus of vinyls, TV, iphone, bluetooth, sound bowls, percussion instruments, and chimes. For me, messages often come through the creative vibration of Music.
I LOVE Sound and Music so much, that the energy in body has no place else to go, except as the EXPRESSION of DANCE and MOVEMENT.
But....
There needs to be some organization!
Free form, intuitive, improv, and innate natural rhythm are all needed aspects of dance culture. However, there is ABSOLUTELY a #JOYswitch, that is flipped on when any formally trained dancer hears, the phrase "Warm-Up."
You see Warm-Up represented an opportunity to "KILL IT."
If you were working on balance, you could KILL* those relevรฉs at barre.
If you were working on spotting, nothing was better than holding your center and NOT* tipping the barre over with double pirouettes at the barre!
If you were working on memory, you were already translating the "right side" exercises on the left side in your mind, BEFORE the teacher was demonstrated it.
So what does ANY of this:
stepping away from social media
actively "unpacking"
being* present with the process of building a home and foundation with things I like
ordering-in without budgeting
finding JOY
...have to do with DANCE, #Movement, and Yoga?
You see, it is in stillness, where wisdom arises.
While my energy was focused on building a dream home, with what I have, incorporating LOVELY sounds to accompany energy in action, aka Movement, I realized why asana was not resonating right now!
My body was craving #WARM-UPโข!
Wisdom UNLOCKED.
Warm-Up fused music, movement, structure, flow, muscle memory, physical discipline, and cognitive resonance. I was craving something, which fused my worlds of Spirit, Arts, and Yoga and brings me ABSOLUTE JOY.
This entire journey of stepping into silence launched me to create an integral cornerstone to the offerings of ๐ก๐ถ๐ธ๐ธ๐ถ ๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐๐ต: ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐ยฎ. My latest offering is called WARM-UP! and asks us to combine all the elements of our Artistry with a physical practice to nourish health and vitality.
Trust in the ๐ช๐ถ๐๐ฑ๐ผ๐บ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐น๐ถ๐ด๐ป๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐.
You're not missing anything, which is already destined to meet you.๐๐
Take time to BE in your own โจ๐๐ผ๐๐๐พโจ and discover what you unlock.
With Love,
